mild anxiety slush

i’m leaning back against a big comfy couch under subdued lighting at syn lounge. it is cold and pouring outside, early-ish, just a handful of patrons. my whole frame is wiped out from the last several hours of hooppain mayhem at mari’s.

thanks to bendy, i have a giant sharpie star on the back of each of my hands; one has a red star outlined in silver, the other a silver star outlined in red. it’s been a fun afternoon.

the carnage from the delicious el metate meal has been cleared away, dbug and ilanio enjoying their “braving the rain” appreciation tequila shots. cielo and i have just been discussing the possibility of hosting a hooppain session in this place. the owner, ms. g, is interested in the idea. she seems cool. even welcomed the idea of us hooping sometime tonight.

we’re all in that post-hoop flush, so it is more than a possibility.

the vibe is warm. heavy fabrics; decks on a riser. there’s enough space for a couple of hoopers in the valley between the deep couches.

next to me, our hoops are corralled. and the damn things are calling to me. i’ve hooped harder in the last few days than i have in months. while my limbs don’t seem to be interested in the idea, my mind is committed. it’s got to happen. too cool of an opportunity. but underneath it all, i’m stuck in that mild anxiety slush, that awareness of performing. makes me a little bashful. and i’m not the only one.

i can see the looks, the silences are getting longer. there’s the first yawn. somebody has mentioned the time. we all want to go, we all want to hoop. but, we are tired and well fed and tipsy.

dammit. it’s gonna have to me. to this music. now.

somehow, i conquer inertia and invite ms. g out to the dance floor. “hey, their gonna do some hula hooping!”

time to do our thing.